Onto another thought, I'd love to hear from all you moms out there about how you handled going from 1 to 2. I've noticed that my anxiety level is kind of high lately in general, enough so that I talked to my dr. about it at my last appointment, just in case he thought I might need some "chill pills"! He attributed it to the fact that as a veteran parent, I know what is coming my way, and that it is hard. I think he is more right than I would have guessed! I'm nervous about a lot of things, and of course being pregnant all of my emotions are heightened anyways. But I'm nervous most about these things:
- The effect a newborn has on marriage
- How is Molly going to take this?
- The effect a newborn has on LIFE.
I am just starting to feel like I have some freedom to my life. Molly is at the stage where it is easier to take her somewhere and let her just play, so I feel like I can really visit with my friends (something I can't get enough of!!!!). I am pretty free to go wherever I need to go, and only have 1 naptime to get home for (which I need myself, so that works out well!). I feel really nervous that I'm about to completely lose my life again, before I even really feel I have it back. I realize that sounds a little selfish, but I know that anyone who is a mom would understand. Any advice???? Did y'all feel this way too????
2 comments:
ok ... YES!
i would say that newborns pretty much occupy your life for the first 6 months ... foggy haze, tired stupor, blah. blah. blah.
However, the benefits outweigh the negs ....
1. You know what Scotty needs. Make it a priority to give him the attention he needs. Work on getting the kiddos on at least ONE nap together (I believe you can do this by week #2) - so you can refresh a little and do a little 'wife' stuff for Scotty.
2. Molly is going to go thru an adjustment. I remember crying about Tuck having to be 'replaced' by another to take some of his attention. HOwever, now, he doesn't remember life WITHOUT Annie around. AND ... when we don't have ANnie and we tell him "This is how it used to be!" .. he always says -- I don't like it. I miss Annie. So, no matter the adjustment, she is NOT going to remember it ...and she will LOVE having a playmate.
3. Newborns are just that ... a new born person that will rule your life for a while. I think that the more you have (coming from a seasoned veteran of 2! - hee. hee) the less structured you are. You aren't going to be quite as much as a freak as you were with #1 ... we tend to chill out a little b/c we know that we can flex a little.
You will be FINE. Let your friends help you. Let us take Molly off your hands one morning so that you can sleep with the new one like you did with Mols. It is going to be important to get as much sleep as you can. Go to bed at the next to last feeding ... and let Scotty do the 11 o'clock ish one .. then, you get up at night and feed since you can take a nap.
Tommy liked that time with the kiddos since he would be up anyway.
You are a super mom and you are going to be AWESOME with 2.
xo
HH
Okay so my advice may be a little different from Heather's coming from a mother who's just as nervous about NUMBER 3!!!! But here are my suggestions:
1. If your marriage can survive 2 pregnancies (3 now with this one!), one newborn and one baby lost - you CAN survive anything! You guys will be fine! Just tell yourself that this too shall pass - try to do SOME things for him but help him to REMEMBER that this is your season of life right now and you are focused on the little one.
2. Never make it an option for Molly not to accept, love, acknowledge, support this new baby! Make it a point to include her in the mundane things "Do you want to help me change his diaper? Feed him? WHATEVER! Even if she's not really doing anything - make her feel like she is! Also let her hold the new baby anytime she asks! I know this seems like much right now but she'll want to and if you make a big deal about her NOT holding the baby, she'll want to even more but if you let her....she'll be done in 5 seconds.
3. A little therapy and chill pills go a long way! You know your breaking point and how you should normally feel after you have a baby! You've done this before! Know your body and know that it's okay so go on a little something! Better that than drown your baby!!! That's horrible and a little dramatic but you know what i mean!
4. Your two will be so close - same age difference as my boys - and trust me....they will be best friends!
5. I'm always here for you! Whatever you need...you got it! Call at any time of day or night and I'll get there with you on this one! 1 to 2 was difficult for me and I haven't forgotten it! Hopefully it will be easier for you and knowing what a great mom you are - you are going to do great!
Love you!
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