Sweet Emmie

A sweet friend (thanks c!) sent me a link to a blog about Audrey Caroline, a baby girl that was born, lived 2 hours, and then went to heaven. She was the 4th daughter to her parents. The particular blog she sent was about the mom going to the cemetary to visit. She ended with words about the lonliness of losing your child, and how it's unlike anything anyone can imagine unless you have experienced it. I absolutely bawled my eyes out! She is so right, and I felt like I found a kindred spirit in reading her words. Loss and death are certainly a detour from the light and happy fare we like to enjoy, but there is something so deeply therpeutic about crying those tears and reading those vulnerable words. She said she will forever bear the mark of a woman who has lost a child....so will I. She also said she knew that there were many others, although we don't usually know who they are. So true! I remember in the days early after losing Emmie, I thought about how it would be if everyone wore a sign around their neck describing what they are going through. "I just lost my baby", "I just got a divorce", "I just lost my job".....the list of course could go on and on. It just made me think about how we bump into people all the time with wounded hearts, but we aren't really a society that wants to talk about it. Anyhow, I've been thinking about my sweet Emmie since I read that blog, and I just wanted to acknowledge her today! I wonder where she is in heaven, and what she is doing. I wonder if God tells her how many tears I cry for her and how much we all miss her. I wonder if she feels her mommy's love for her there. I wonder if she knows she has a sister, and if she has insight into what the next one will be. I wonder who she has met, and what friends and family she is with. I wonder what it will be like when I get there, and she is waiting for me....thank God for heaven! I miss you sweet girl!